Why is it as women that we are expected to make a choice? Do you want a career or do you want a family/a life?

People are always in disbelief that you can have both. And it’s not just the people looking from the outside in. It’s the people around you as well.

People try to make you feel bad for wanting both. Like your whole entire life should come second to a career – because that’s the life you C H O S E. It’s as though being a woman who wants a life outside of a career is something to be looked down upon. Like one cannot exist with the other. Like women should wait until they are stable in their career to be able to have both.

I see things differently. Here’s why: life will always throw you curve balls. Are you ever really ready for anything life has to throw your way? Not really. I was never ready. I was never ready for high school (my first public school) or to move away from home in undergrad. You’re kind of just thrown into a situation and you just adjust from there.

People around you think that by giving you advice they are giving you THE BEST advice, when that is not always the case. People’s opinions and take on life is shaped by their experience. And everyone in life has different experiences. That is why personally, I take what everyone says with a grain of salt. I know there may be truth in what people say, but ultimately, no one knows what’s best for you, more than you.

It’s a constant battle of:

“You can just wait until you are done with school to pursue x, y and z.”

No. School shouldn’t consume you to the part where you feel like you have to sacrifice a life for it.

It’s okay to want a relationship too.

It’s okay to have other interests too.

It’s okay to want to be married too.

It’s okay to want to have a family too.

These are all normal things that women want but women who pursue careers are made to feel bad for wanting these things. As if it’s crazy to want. It’s not. It’s okay to crave those things.

People constantly want a justification of why those things are necessary. I would say at least 75% of girls have dreamt of their wedding and being married and having kids. I don’t think that just because you have a career you should be made to feel like it’s one or the other.

You don’t need a justification for other people. Why can’t people just care about your happiness and be happy for you? Why are women made to feel like it’s a crime to want it?

People say they are looking out for your best interest, but if they were, shouldn’t they care about your happiness?

Everyone thinks they know what’s best for you without even considering your perspective on the situation.

I would love to hear your perspective. Let me know in the comments! xo