This topic is kind of hard for me to write about cause I don’t want to step on anyone’s feelings but I still want to share mine. I think you can tell from my other blog posts that I’m not a super chatty person so I’m going to keep this short and sweet.
All my life I’ve been steered into going into the health professions – specifically..I’ve been pushed to become a doctor. My parents never entertained the idea of me pursuing any other interest. I feel like because I was pushed in a certain direction, I never saw anything but their vision for me.
I’m extremely squeamish – which is why I ended up not going to medical school. If it wasn’t for the couple of times that I fainted in undergrad, then I’d probably still be on that path… and I was on that path for 3/4 of my undergrad years.
It’s tough to choose your life when you’ve been pushed a certain direction your whole life and that’s all you ever saw for yourself. Cause when it came time to choose what to do with my life I got so overwhelmed and confused and it was stressful.
I changed course in the last half of my junior year in undergrad but it was very difficult to make a decision.
I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do because I was so scared to disappoint my parents. Don’t get me wrong – I love health and science and I think it’s extremely fascinating. However, I didn’t know what other options existed besides becoming a doctor. I didn’t know what else I was interested in… I never even gave myself time to explore anything else. I had tunnel vision. The light at the end of the tunnel was becoming a doctor.
It was difficult to find my voice…to be able to tell my parents that my vision for my life wasn’t the same as theirs. And even when I did find my voice, they still pushed me towards their vision…
I’m not writing this blog to complain, but so that other people who went through the same thing will be able to relate. I also hope that people who are in high school and undergrad will read this and will allow themselves to explore other options and see what else is out there for themselves.
It took me a very, very long time to accept the fact that our visions for my life didn’t coincide. I felt extremely guilty to disappoint my parents. But, it’s important to choose your life because you’re the one who has to live it.. and you’re the one who has to live with whatever decision is made. So it’s important to find your voice and be persistent in advocating for yourself and for your life.
I’d love to hear your stories in the comment section! Xo